Mostly associated with gift-giving, cheerful moods, family gatherings, and copious amounts of eggnog and food, the holiday season is meant to be a joyous time of year. However, some may not feel as cheerful and jolly as we continue through the holiday season.
Seasonal depression is very real. Lots of people struggle during the winter months in general, but a lot of times the holidays specifically can really take a toll on the quality of life of those who may already be struggling. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), around 64% of people report the holiday season making their mental health conditions worse. You’re not alone if you find yourself feeling down during this season, as many people express feeling high levels of anxiety or stress surrounding the holidays.
The reason many experience an increase in sadness or anxiety during this time of year is associated with the holiday blues. The “holiday blues” describes feeling extra stressed because of unrealistic expectations around the holiday season. Some common feelings associated with the holiday blues include:
- Frustration
- Sadness
- Fatigue
- Tension
- Sense of loss
- Isolation or loneliness
Overcoming the holiday blues and finding effective methods for managing your mental health are essential. Easing your stress and looking at the holiday season with a new perspective can help you find joy in this season and make your way to the new year. Here are 10 tips that you can use to hopefully better your mental state this holiday season.
1. Remember What Really Matters
The holidays can be a hectic time for driving and shopping. With numerous people trying to shop for gifts and traveling out of town to visit loved ones, the lines at the stores and the traffic con the roads can be continuous. When the long lines and never-ending traffic start to get to you, it’s important to remember what the holidays mean to you and keep tabs on what really matters to you.
Take these moments to reflect on the good things that are happening in your life. Remind yourself that it’s simply a long line or a traffic build-up, or try connecting with someone if you’re in line at the store in the spirit of the season.
2. Set Boundaries If You’re Feeling Pressured To Participate In Activites
We all have our own personal history with holidays. We dream about the ways the holidays are supposed to be, which can be a dangerous perspective. We get caught up in wanting to do it all, but we can aim to set more realistic expectations for ourselves and others.
Accept your limitations and be patient with others too. Try to see others’ points of view and recognize that we’re all feeling at least a little stressed—especially this year. Also try to prioritize the most important activities or schedule get-togethers for after the holidays: If you feel overwhelmed by social obligations and what others are asking of you, learn how to be comfortable saying “no”. Regardless of your plans, it can be helpful to communicate intentions to friends and family early in the holiday season so everyone knows what to expect.
3. Learn to Accept Imperfection
Expectations around the holiday season are high for hosting the best gathering, giving the best present or feeling the happiest during this time of year. People may feel less-than or become stressed about living up to those high holiday expectations. It’s helpful to accept that everything during this time will not be perfect in your eyes, but a lot of things can be enjoyable. It’s all right if things don’t go exactly how you planned — imperfection is normal.
4. Give Yourself a Spending Limit
Something that can contribute to holiday stress is money. Many aspects of the holiday season revolve around buying gifts or buying food or beverages for gatherings. It’s helpful to set a budget for yourself during this time of year so you don’t have to stress over money.
5. Soak Up Some Sun While You Can During Darker Months
In the northern hemisphere, the holidays coincide with winter’s lack of available sunlight. Less exposure to natural light can lead to new or increased symptoms of depression.
Try to get as much sunlight as possible. To boost your mood and regulate sleep, schedule outdoor exercise in the middle of the day when the sun is brightest. If you can, work near a window throughout the day. Even outfitting your home with warm, bright lighting can help improve your mood. Many traditions this time of year incorporate candles and twinkling lights for a reason.
If you feel the need to slow your pace and hunker down this time of year, consider reframing the winter months as an opportunity to work on “quieter” projects and activities suited for the indoors, such as writing, knitting, or taking online courses.
6. Remind Yourself That Change Is Part Of Life
If you are living with grief, loss, trauma, or loneliness, it can be easy to compare your situation to others’, which can increase feelings of loneliness or sadness. Take time to check in with yourself and your feelings and have realistic expectations for how the holiday season will be. If you are dealing with loss or grief, gently remind yourself that as circumstances change, traditions will change as well. If holiday observances seem inauthentic right now, you do not need to force yourself to celebrate.
7. Create New Traditions For Yourself
If you are feeling disconnected from family and friends, whether they are far away or your relationships have become strained over the years, find some ways to bring cheer to your holiday season in your own unique way. It can be hard to let family traditions go as you move through life, so find some ways to celebrate that are unique to you. Decorate your living space in your own unique style! This can help with self-expression while also giving you a feeling of accomplishment once the decorations are up and ready. Find a holiday meal to cook for yourself, find a favorite holiday movie to watch on a specific day. It’s important to remember that the world is yours for the taking, and you can celebrate however you see fit.
8. Take Extra Care If You Feel Alone or Isolated
While it’s true that many of us have friends and family to connect with during the holiday season, there’s also the danger of becoming isolated. If you are predisposed to depression or anxiety, it can be especially hard to reach out to others. Remind yourself of the people, places, and things that make you feel happy. Consider scheduling a regular call or video chat with friends on a weekly or biweekly basis so you don’t have to think twice about making the effort.
Take advantage of other ways to connect, including sending out holiday cards and communicating with family and friends by phone, text, email, and social media. Calming activities, such as reading, meditating, and gratitude journaling, can be helpful if you don’t feel comfortable in social situations.
Don’t forget about self-care. We know the importance of a balanced diet, moderate exercise, and plenty of sleep, but because there are so many distractions and stressors this time of year, we lose sight of some of the basic necessities. We need to take care of ourselves and pay increased attention to ensuring we fulfill these areas of our lives as we get closer to the holidays.
9. Shower Others With Kindness
While you can’t control how others act during the holidays, you can choose to show kindness to others. This is easier said than done sometimes, as putting on a happy face and giving that which you don’t have to others can be a real struggle. Rather than becoming angry or irritated, work on viewing the situation through a new lens and responding with kindness even in tough situations. Be courteous to store staff, or reach out to loved ones you enjoy spending time with. Not only will it boost them up, but oftentimes showing kindness to somebody can elevate your mindset as well.
10. Ask For Help
At the end of the day, utilizing the tips above can only do so much for some time. When all hope seems lost, PLEASE turn to others for support. Reaching out for help during the holidays is one of the best things you can do if you’re struggling with your mental health. It’s effective to speak with a person you trust, like a friend, family member or your therapist, about your current feelings. You’ll discover that feeling down or stressed during the holiday season is normal, and you can discuss tools to overcome the negative feelings. You’re never a burden to the right people. Somebody out there is willing to help you through whatever it is you are going through.
We at Razor have compiled a list of local and national resources on our Mental Health page. If you or anyone you know are in crisis, please seek help utilizing the resources linked below, or by dialing the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
You are never alone. Your life is worth saving and protecting.
Do something nice for someone today, and take care of yourself. Happy Holidays.
