The holiday season is upon us once again. Bringing blizzards, freezing cold temperatures, copious amounts of eggnog, and the holiday soundtracks we hear way too much of at our local shopping malls. One can only take “All I Want For Christmas Is You” so many times, so here are 10 head-bangin’ Christmas songs to spice up the holiday festivities this year!
1. August Burns Red – “Carol Of The Bells”
How can we not begin with the pioneers of merging the holidays and metal? Christian metalcore outfit August Burns Red loves Christmas so much that the band recorded an entire instrumental album of metalized carols and classics, 2012’s August Burns Red Presents: Sleddin’ Hill, A Holiday Album. The group first got into the Yuletide spirit in 2007, recording a fan-favorite cover of “Carol of the Bells,” which turned the already fairly metal-sounding tune into an epic shredder.
2. Fall Out Boy – “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out”
Admittedly more alternative/emo than rock or metal, this holiday song is a must on any playlist. Chicago-based alternative pioneers Fall Out Boy’s yuletide sneer is a deeply underrated one-off. If you’ve been dumped around the holidays or just can’t be bothered, crank up its catchy, dismissive rant. “Merry Christmas / I could care less,” indeed.
3. Blink-182 – “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas”
An underrated Blink-182 single if we’ve ever heard it. Parodying “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” it’s all about a guy who loses it on Christmas Eve and decides to attack carolers. ‘Tis the season everybody. Play it for the scrooge in your life.
4. Halestorm – “Mistress For Christmas” (AC/DC Cover)
Halestorm takes on a cover of legendary rock group AC/DC’s “Mistress For Christmas”. This raunchy Christmas song is all about wanting a woman for Christmas. It’s not exactly family-friendly, but hey, who said Christmas was just for kids?
5. GWAR – “Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend”
Nothing says holiday cheer like blood, guts, and glory. When GWAR celebrates Christmas, they do it in the summer . . . with strippers . . . over an entire weekend. Just because they’re from outer space doesn’t mean that these monsters can’t kick back during the holiday season. Here they celebrate as only murderous aliens can, by violating Santa himself.
6. Amon Amarth – “Viking Christmas”
On “Viking Christmas,” the melodic death-metal band Amon Amarth make an argument against revisionist Christian history. Or are they admitting that despite their lust for blood, they also like gingerbread cookies? It’s open for interpretation.
7. Corey Taylor – “X-M@$”
The Slipknot and Stone Sour vocalist’s tongue-in-cheek anti-Christmas diatribe was released in December 2010. Complete with a hilarious animated video, the song by self-professed “Scrooge” Corey sees him lambast Christmas with lines like: ‘Now every year the malls are just a madhouse / Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles / Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit / And those coloured lights are f—ing infantile’. You know where you can stick those jingle bells.
8. Dropkick Murphys – “The Season’s Upon Us”
Dropkick Murphys’ Christmas carol is a purely joyful one, paying homage to the lunatics we call family. A holiday air in the style of a bar room sing-along, “The Season’s Upon Us” will keep you celebrating until you’re praying to the porcelain goddess.
9. Type O Negative – “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)”
We take a bit of a somber detour from holiday cheer to shine a spotlight on those who may not be so cheerful this time of year. Type O Negative’s “Red Water” is the Christmas song for those unable to partake in holiday joy and festivities, reminding people who reflect mournfully that they aren’t alone.
10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra – THE ENTIRE CATALOG
Oh you want me to choose just one? HELL NO! TSO is not your average symphony, bringing holiday cheer in the form of powerful rock anthems and lots of fire during their live performances. Literally anything in their catalog is appropriate to be played this time of year, so pick one and crank it up!
[Rolling Stone] [Men’sHealth] [Planet Radio] [Loudwire]
