TRIGGER WARNING.
This article and subsequent interview revolve around the very sensitive and heavy topic of suicide. The subject of this interview details the death of his 14 year old son, including what it looked like the day it occurred, and the feelings and actions that followed. If you or anybody you know are in crisis and are having thoughts of suicide, please dial the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
If you are in a good state of mind right now, feel free to read on.
The St. Clair family was just like any other middle-class American family. John St. Clair had built a perfect, quiet life for him, his wife, and his two children in a small town in Warren County, Tennessee. All was well, until one day in 2019 where their lives would forever be changed.
Unknown to John and his family, his 14 year old son Branden had fallen into a dark state of mind, and on February 27th, 2019, he succumbed to his illness and ended his own life by use of a firearm. John goes on to talk about that day, and how nobody could’ve known that Branden was struggling at the time.
“My son was going through some temporary trauma. We had no idea why, none of his friend knew why. He gave no signs that we would’ve known, at the time of course, that he was having any issues whatsoever. He came home from school one day as a freshman, ate some ramen noodles with his sister, and did a little bit of laundry. They both went off to their separate rooms, and then he took his own life with a gun.”
Later on in the interview, John reveals the fact that he came across Branden in his room after he had made his choice.
“I found my son, and he was still alive. My daughter and I went in his room and found him.”
Support came pouring in almost immediately from the community. Friends of Branden were sending john photos that they had, so that John could hold on to as many memories as possible now that Branden had left this world. John created a Facebook page so that it would be easier to have friends of Branden send in any photos, memories, and stories.
Amidst the memories, photos, and stories that were received, John also began receiving stories anonymously from other teens who were also going through emotional struggles. It turned out that there were no suitable resources for children and teens to share their stories, so they came to John.
“Hundreds of kids started sending me questions, stories of bullying, and their own suicidal ideologies and self-harm issues. Very very quickly it turned into these kids wanting to tell their stories, but they wanted their names out of it.”
John revealed that he received almost 3,000 messages within the first week of his Facebook page being active. As a result of the overwhelming amount of those seeking support, B.E.D.S. Teen Outreach Center was formed.
Named after Branden Edward Darce St. Clair, B.E.D.S. has been a safe space for children and teens all across the country to share their stories and seek support. According to the B.E.D.S. WEBSITE, B.E.D.S. provides a neutral, safe place for teens and young adults to expand their social circle in a safe and healthy environment. It is a place where teens can go to receive services designed to help them handle day-to-day challenges while encouraging their personal growth and development. B.E.D.S. also offers mental health workshops focusing on depression and anxiety, along with providing assistance with self-harm prevention, cyber-bullying, and suicide awareness and prevention.
John has also published a book in March of 2022, titled Branden’s Choice. He says it is warning, meant to help those considering suicide change their minds.
“[Teens] are maybe idolizing suicide in some way. You think things are going to be better. The girl is gonna love you, or the mom or dad is gonna miss you, and you wish that they had… bought you those shoes, or gave you more freedom. But that’s not what’s gonna happen, and I realized that that’s what this book now has to be. It has to be a terrible warning. I gave everything I had into the book to try and scare even one kid away from thinking that that could in any way solve anything.”
Branden’s Choice is available for purchase HERE.
We will be raising money for B.E.D.S. Teen Outreach Center throughout the month of September. Watch our full interview with John St. Clair below.
